


I tell you all the time

by jujuxy



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:28:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28247664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujuxy/pseuds/jujuxy
Summary: Trixie can't say no and Katya just wants to fuck him in a wig.
Relationships: Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 30
Kudos: 51





	1. Turn around bitch

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing in English, it's not my first language and it's probably horrible to read for native speakers. You've been warned. 
> 
> The story was very clear in my head, that's all I can say.

Like most of his Sunday mornings now, Trixie was lying in bed naked, watching Katya smoke perched on his window. He did try to stop him from smoking in his condo but there was no way to get Katya to pay attention to anything after sex.  
Trixie was staring, intently, studying his face with no shame, his nose, cheeks, facial hair, everything. Katya was a piece of art to him, perfect.

Trixie was a lost cause, every time Katya came, eyes big and face closed, he just opened his arm and let him do whatever he wanted. Most of the time they didn’t even have time to get to the bed and he was getting fucked in the middle of his own living room, bended over the couch while Katya was pounding into him at the speed of light.  
He moved a little in bed, getting rid of the bed sheets, all of this was making him hard again, fuck.

It started 6 months ago, Katya appeared at his door, looking a little crazy, his eyes looking everywhere around him like he was chased or something, refusing to sit down and not telling anything coherent. Trixie tried to hug him, tried to get him to sit down but Katya was just walking in circles mumbling to himself

« Do you trust me Trix? Do you… fuck this shit of course not. I’m leaving sorry I shouldn’t… »

« Wait, slow down a little, of course I trust you »

Katya frowned, looking angry, clenching his fists like he was ready to fight.

« I should leave, sorry »

Trixie looked at the door closing on Katya’s back, confused. He sat down on his couch replaying the last week in his head, looking for clues, that’s when Katya knocked again. How did he know it was him? Don’t ask, he always knows. When he opened the door, Katya was all over him, hands under his shirt. Trixie grabbed his shoulders, stopping the blue eyed man from kissing him.

« What the fuck Kat!? »

« Shut up now »

And he did, he did exactly what Katya asked and let those blue eyes get close and that mouth kiss him. Why? Who fucking knows at this point. It wasn’t romantic at all, just saliva everywhere, teeth and tongues. It was urgent, dirty, it felt like they were doing something forbidden so they had to do it fast. Without Trixie realizing his own hands where already in Katya’s gym short. He was breathing hard in his mouth, moving his hands fast on his dick. He wasn’t able to think, clearly they both wanted it so why not. He started speaking nonsense, the sight of Katya’s muscles tensing because his hand was on his dick made him a little delirious. That’s when Katya grabbed his chin and said

« I said shut up and turn around bitch »

And again, he did, being guided by Katya’s strong hands to the nearest hard surface, his pants gone in seconds and Katya’s hot mouth on his asshole with hands massaging his balls. He felt hot, wanted, _used_ , he wanted more. After a few minutes of the best ass eating of his whole life Katya just stopped touching him and left looking for, he hoped at least, lube. He thought he should say something but he just stayed there, barely moving, his hand holding his painful dick, waiting for Katya. He was back in no time, fingers already coated and ready do go back to work. Trixie could cry, the cold lube, the fingers moving inside him, he made the most embarrassing noises and heard Katya laugh behind him. He turned his head a bit, frowning but what he saw kept him from saying anything. Katya, mouth open, red from the effort, fingering him, the next words made him almost come on the spot.

« You’re so hot when you’re angry ».

Next thing, Katya’s dick was in his ass, pounding into him so hard his legs stopped supporting him. Katya didn’t stop and just bended him farther on the kitchen countertop, hands pushing his head hard against the cold surface. He just managed to let out a strangled, pathetic word.

« More »

And more he got, it was brutal, uncomfortable, animalistic, they were both making noises none of them ever heard. Trixie felt one of the hands digging into his side leave to grab his dick, Katya pumping him with incoherent movements. At one point he felt really hot, Katya was leaning on his back, still going incredibly fast, and the contrast between the cold tiles on his nipples, and Katya’s hot torso sticking to his back, nothing felt hotter than this. Trixie came harder than he ever did in Katya’s hot hand and all over the kitchen cabinet. Katya’s hand left his dick and he stopped moving before licking his ears, with a voice that couldn’t cover his excitement

« Oh my god Trix, can I…. Please » and he was already moving slowly, probably not realizing. Trixie knew exactly what he wanted and he couldn’t see this end any other way.

« Yeah, don’t be too long»

« At your order »

Katya immediately grabbed his side again, one hand between his shoulder blades pressing him against the counter and he fucked him even harder and faster than before. Every muscles in Trixie’s body hurt so good, his skin sensitive after the devastating orgasm he just had. It felt so good, he could cry, he could cry from this. He was crying. He was moaning and groaning from the friction and pressure. When Katya came, Trixie turned his head slightly, still firmly pressed on the cold surface and admired him at the peak of his pleasure. After a few minutes, Katya opened her eyes again and caught him, still staring. He smirked, leaving his ass.

« Can I lick your dick clean »

Trixie closed her eyes a second.

« You can do whatever you want with me »

The rest of the night was blurry, he remember blowing Katya slowly on the couch, getting the same treatment immediately after, and they fucked again later, on the bed this time because they were both exhausted. They passed out hot and sticky.

And then it happened again, and again, and again. Katya showing up looking bothered and angry, Trixie letting the blue eyes hypnotize him and letting him do whatever he wanted. Katya always stayed the whole night, smoking in between the sex. They never talked about it.  
After that time, Trixie was sure her whole career was over, they would never be able to act normal on set again… but they did. Katya was the same as ever, and the few episodes they filmed that week were great. It was like nothing happened. At one point Trixie wondered if it wasn’t just a very realistic wet dream. That was before Katya showed up at his door again two days after and they were at it again.

Trixie sighed, painfully hard from the memory, already touching himself. Stupid dick.  
He looked at Katya one last time before closing his eyes and jerking off furiously imagining the other’s hand. He came fast, a little disgusted by himself, with Katya back in bed beside him, looking amused. Trixie raised an eyebrow.

« What? Don’t tell me I finally shocked you? »

Katya didn’t answer, kept smiling and slowly started touching his arms, making him regret not waiting for him to finish his cigarette just a minute ago.

« I want to fuck you in a wig » said Katya, eyes intense.

« I know you’re old but you did that a number of times already, remember Friday? »

« No, no, you don’t get it, I want to fuck _you_ in a wig »

Trixie was looking at him, still confused before it started making sense.

« I don’t know, I’m not really into that…»

Katya fell dramatically on the bed, pouting. He usually wasn’t like that, he would be smoking or fucking him, no small talk. Talking and laughing was reserved for when they were in a normal friend situation, not naked in front of each other. Trixie always thought it would be terribly awkward but it felt nice.  
Trixie felt confortable, content, Katya’s back was facing him now and all the memories of their first time made him want to ask all the questions he kept for the past six months. Trixie wanted answers, but he knew he would just make Katya leave and never come back.  
Katya didn’t want any of that, Katya wanted to fuck him in a wig and he couldn’t say no to him.  
He reached for the other’s shoulder and whispered

« Alright, but I pick the wig »


	2. I just want to feel you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this nonsense.

Trixie was pretty sure this was the third time he’s excused himself to pee out of extreme boredom. He was cursing Willam to hell and back for having convinced him to leave his house to celebrate…. what was it again? He didn’t remember. He just knew at one point he decided to just make the most of this « party » and just drink.  
One shot turned into six over the course of twenty minutes and as always, his eyes were on Katya again. He was so hot, so aware of his movements, body in a picture perfect pose for anyone who wanted to stare. Which Trixie happily did.  
At one point, the conversation derived to his fucked up love life, Trixie just shrugging and not talking much with everyone having something to say about what was best for him, and Willam just ended up saying

« God Trix just relax and have sex with random people, you're too romantic. Internet? Heard of it? »

The thing is, they didn’t know his ass was well taken care of multiple times a week by no other than Katya. Sometimes he wondered if the human body had a limited amount of orgasms because if so, he was pretty sure the end was near with how hard he was coming everytime.  
From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Katya talking to everyone but him with ease. Of course they all wanted to spend time with him, who wouldn’t. He was over it.  
He just faked a laugh and left the room to got to the toilets.

He was washing his hands when Katya showed up at the door, very obviously faking an apology with a girly voice.

« Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were in here Trix »

Trixie laughed and looked up.

« Sounds like the beginning of a bad porn » his voice lower than usual from all the shots. He continued, passing Katya to leave the bathroom « Could you tell Willam I’m leaving? I already called an Uber. ».

Katya uncrossed his arms and and stood on his way out of the room and it’s a fucking crime against humanity how good he smells. They were so close, face almost touching. They never had that much sexual tension outside of Trixie’s pink house, this was new. Or maybe Trixie was too drunk and imagining things again, he wish he wasn’t. He tried a joke to not show he was about to jump on Katya.

« You don’t need me to hold it for you when you pee now grandpa? » His laugh echoing on the tiles of the room. He didn’t miss Katya’s face tough, and he knew it was done. He had those eyes, the same eyes he had every time he showed up at Trixie’s door and his brain was flooded by dirty images of their past moments again.  
He doesn’t know how it happened, since he was captivated by Katya’s eyes, but he was suddenly pushed against the door. His eyes heavy, head leaning back, he watched every movement he was making with interest. Is Katya really doing that? In the middle of Willam’s house? With their friends in every corner? He couldn’t believe this was happening somewhere else than his house. Getting brave in this new scenario they were making, he started touching Katya’s ass, firm and perfect like the rest of him. His hands slowly caressing his side, trembling when his fingers finally reached hot sticky skin instead of just fabric. They were never this slow and of course it didn’t last with Katya suddenly saying in his ears.

« What the hell are you doing Trix? »

He then heard himself say the most stupid shit he could come up with in this situation. It’s the alcohol, for sure.

« I just want to feel you Katya, let me »

Katya looked at him for what felt like hours and finally crashed their lips together, fighting with Trixie’s pants. His own hands were still under Katya’s shirt, his nails digging into his skin seeing him so impatient. Katya welcomed the sting with a flex of his shoulder.  
Katya loosened his belt with expert fingers, button and zipper following. Pants became an instant puddle at his feet, underwear following and the same expert fingers were on his dick in no time, lips and tongue traveling over his Adam’s apple as his head fell back with a grunt. Katya’s hand left his dick at one point, trying to get rid of his shirt, he couldn’t contain a moan, more, he wanted more, always more.  
Trixie grabbed Katya’s wrist and positioned both of them in front of the large mirror above the sink, Katya behind him. Putting Katya’s hand back on his dick he said, panting,

« Don’t you dare stop what you started »

Looking at they reflection through the mirror, Trixie watched as Katya’s eyes went wild and he started pumping his dick in fast motion, his wrist becoming blurry with the speed. They were here, standing in the middle of Willam’s guest bathroom, not really caring about their surrounding, Katya’s chest hot against his back. He couldn’t stop watching, he wanted to close his eyes but he couldn’t stop watching the sweat forming on Katya’s forehead and collarbones. Katya was working fast on Trixie’s dick, his other hand gripping his ass. He looked hot, Katya looked hot devouring his neck and locking eyes with him with a look of adoration Trixie had never seen. It was the most erotic vision he ever had, he grabbed Katya’s hand and came, his eyes never leaving Katya’s in the mirror. He felt Katya’s dick touching his lower back, reaching for contact and friction. He turned around, facing him and finally touched Katya’s dick, giving the best hand job his tired and drunk body could give. Katya was still looking at the mirror behind him, with a quick look, Trixie smiled when he saw it, of course Katya was looking at his ass. He went back to his work and gave full attention to Katya’s dick. He was moaning, eyes still locked on the mirror

« Trixie I’m close » He said urgently.

« Come on my face »

And Trixie dropped to his knees, feeling dirty and loving every second of it, still pumping Katya’s dick, secretly wishing for Katya to look directly at him and not the mirror. And he did, and the moment their eyes met Katya came all over his face.  
They quickly cleaned, dressed each other up and left the bathroom smiling. Nothing else was said.

The ride back home was weird, his head cloudy from all the shots he had and, again, the mind-blowing orgasm he had with Katya. It was weird, after six months of never acting out of line in other situations than when Katya was showing up at his door, it was the first time Trixie felt he really did something wrong. He looked at his phone, Willam’s words coming back to him.  
He would never admit to follow an advice from Willam of all people, but here he was, browsing this app he didn’t open in months, chatting with guys and setting up meetings.  
When he got home he just went to sleep without showering. Hoping he would still smell like Katya in the morning.

The next day went smoothly, apart from a strong hangover he decided to ignore, he just played video games, went for a run, facetimed Katya twice about the shooting of their Netflix show and everything was back to normal. Of course it was, what could change? He was fucking Katya in secret and that was it, nothing complicated right? He looked distractedly at all the wigs in the corner of the room, eyes locking on the one he chose to wear to surprise Katya next time he came over.

A strange text from an unknown number made him remember he had a date tonight. After a moment of confusion he remembered, it was a very tall, muscly, hairy, dark haired guy he chatted with online the night before, they agreed to meet at the bar two streets from here. He briefly thought about canceling before looking at the picture again and convincing himself a date wasn’t so bad after all.

He was about to leave when Katya knocked on his door. They never texted before and it was always Katya showing up unannounced.  
When he opened the door, all dressed up, his phone and wallet in hand, Katya looked at him, a little surprised

« Where are you going? »

« I can’t tonight Katya »

« You can’t? What is that nonsense? »

Katya was strangely mad about this. He couldn’t even leave his own house now? He just had to wait, ass ready for his majesty to stick his dick into? Well, actually, he couldn’t blame Katya, because for the past 6 months, every time he showed up, Trixie just stopped whatever he was doing and agreed to everything. He just sat on the nearest chair and started putting his shoes on.

« I have a date » He said, without adding more.

« And ? » Katya was already unzipping his own pants and walking towards him.

God, that was hot. Katya, a little mad, his perfect face tensed. Trixie just looked at his shoes, trying not to get too horny, and said, with what he thought was a bored voice.

« It just feels weird fucking before going on a date you know »

« I don’t care » came Katya’s answer, voice hard and commanding. He knew how Trixie worked, he knew exactly what he was doing.

When he looked up again, Katya’s dick was in front of his face, already hard and perfect, like the rest of him. Trixie hated the fact that he was already salivating, he wanted nothing more than to taste it and let Katya fuck his mouth until he came in his throat. He watched in awe as Katya’s hand was slowly approaching his lips, almost giving in.  
That’s when he stood up, very obviously hard in his tight pants and quickly said

« I’m late, close the door when you’re leaving ».

He felt like he won something by saying no to Katya, but strangely, he also felt like he lost.

The date was terrible, that big guy was very boring and dumb, but he was hot and Trixie was still thinking about what happened earlier, hot and frustrated. When he said he drove here, Trixie suggested they go to his car.  
They had sex in the backseat. The guy blowed him and fucked him looking directly at his eyes chanting « Brian, yes , yes » which freaked him out a little for some reason. Trixie came but felt weird and not totally satisfied.

He was back home exactly 2 hours after he left, not feeling particularly convinced and very frustrated. « Fucking Willam, I should have just stick with Katya» He opened a bottle of wine and started drinking directly from it. Just saying Katya’s name, he was horny again. What a sad little life he had.  
He was sitting on the couch, in the dark, drinking wine when he got a text.

« How was the date Trix? » Of course it was Katya. He didn’t answer and immediately got a FaceTime call.

« What is it Katya, I’m tired »

« Why you’re not answering my text bitch? » Katya was in his bed, shirtless. Trixie tried to not look too much.

« I’m tired »

« How was the date? »

Trixie answered, leaning back on his couch, eyes closing « Terrible »

« He didn’t fuck you like I did right? He didn’t know that you liked being on your knees with cum all over your face?» Katya’s voice was low, almost menacing. Fucking hell he knew Trixie way too well, his mind going back to Willam’s bathroom immediately.

« Katya what the fuck! » He was completely awake now, eyes wide. Katya NEVER tried to talk dirty out of their little sessions. They managed to keep things separated and he thought that’s what Katya wanted.

Katya smiled and said in a happy voice like he was announcing the Oscar for best picture

« I hope you picked a good wig, I can’t wait to destroy it the next time we fuck»

And he just ended the call, leaving Trixie with a painful boner. For sure he was being punished by some evil god for refusing Katya’s dick and going on this failure of a date instead. And then he realized what Katya said. He sighed, tired and horny again, not the fucking wig.


	3. Look at me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick reminder that English is not my first language.  
> Enjoy the smut.

It was 3 in the morning and Katya was finally balls deep into his ass after one fluid motion, holding Trixie’s legs open, his finger digging in his skin. He’ll have bruises tomorrow, he didn’t care. He started moving and the feeling made Trixie almost come on the spot.   
When Katya knocked on his door an hour earlier, he was rock hard and the primal look on his face was enough to make Trixie fall apart and give in, thoughts of putting wigs on long forgotten. Katya then ate his ass for so long he thought they would be doing that all night, and he would have let him, of course. Katya pulled him out of his recent memories with a breathy voice. 

« Don’t close your eyes, Tracy » 

Katya’s voice was so deep Trixie barely recognized it, one sudden thrust making him close his eyes tighter in an attempt to control the obscene moans coming out of his mouth. He felt one of Katya’s hand leave his painful thigh to meet his jaw. 

« Come on, look at me when I fuck you so good, look at me ». 

And of course he did. He opened his eyes and knew he would never be more turned on than he was in this moment.  
He saw Katya stop, mouth wide open as if he didn’t know Trixie would do anything he asked, he looked like he was in a trance, their eyes locked and Trixie couldn’t help the shiver that traveled his whole body. The moment was over when Katya gasped, rolling his hips again looking down between them where they met so perfectly. 

« Fuck, Trix… » Another thrust. « So hot »

Trixie’s eyes rolled back into his head, hands reaching to catch Katya’s neck to get him closer. 

« Say that again » he cried. 

« You … are … so » each word followed by another thrust « …hot ». The last word growled on his cheek. 

Trixie caught his mouth when Katya started moving again, the pace ruthless and demanding, Trixie’s body slamming to meet him with equal fervor, their mouths never leaving each other. His dick was deliciously trapped between them, everything slippery and sticky with sweat. He felt Katya’s hand moving to his throat, and that was enough for Trixie’s orgasm to hit him so hard he lost all control over his own body. He threw his head back against the sheets when Katya’s teeth sank into his shoulder, and he knew Katya was also coming. With the last bit of strength in his body he met his last thrust with a slow, grinding roll of his hips, wanting Katya to feel as good as he was. 

They lied there, breathing hard, for a long time. Body and brain slowly catching up and going back to reality.  
After a while, Trixie felt the mattress moving, Katya leaving to smoke. He turned onto his side to look at him, as always, and let out a little cry, his body reminding him he needed to rest. He was admiring Katya’s strong back muscles when he heard him say. 

« When are you going on tour? » blowing smoke, his hands distractedly letting the ashes fall in a bowl Trixie left here just for him. 

« In a week » his voice sounding ridiculously hoarse. He didn’t even scream that much today, did he? He cleared his throat and said again « In a week, first stop is New York ». 

Katya didn’t answer but his body was tensed and eyebrows furrowed in an expression Trixie had troubles reading. He saw Katya leave the room and heard the water of the shower running.   
Trixie’s eyes were closing, he was tired and satisfied, the contrast between this moment and the date he had the other night making him laugh softly at the stupid comparison. He breathed deeply, his body spread over the bed as Katya left him, legs and arms wide open, secretly loving the feeling of Katya’s cum coming out of his asshole and his own starting to dry on his stomach. The whole room smelled like sex and he felt the best just like that, dirty and freshly fucked, but he wouldn’t admit it out loud, or maybe just to Katya. He was feeling himself loosing touch with his surroundings when he heard Katya’s voice again but didn’t really catch what he was saying. 

« Hm? » he said, brain too cloudy to form words, waiting for Katya to repeat what he was saying. 

Instead of an answer he felt Katya’s hand traveling from his collarbones to the dark bruises forming around his hips and thighs. Katya’s voice was heard again. 

« Is this wrong? What we’re doing? » Trixie’s eyes opened at that, his body now completely awake. 

He felt Katya’s hands leave his body and saw him sitting against the headboard. That was new, and so not Katya’s style.

« It’s not » 

He simply said. Not moving form his spot in the middle of the bed. He had to be careful, Katya was talking and he will maybe finally be able to have answers to all the questions that were turning in his head for the pas 6 months. Why did Katya ask him if he trusted him? Why did Katya look so angry? Why he never called to say he wanted to fuck before showing up? Why him? Was Katya okay? That’s what Trixie wanted to scream.

Katya sighed, something was obviously bothering him. « I feel like I’m using you »

At that Trixie couldn’t help but scream, laughing hard. Great, he’ll think you’re making fun of him now. Forcing himself to sit, Trixie cleared his throat, still smiling. 

« I wouldn’t let you touch me if I wasn’t enjoying it Kat, you really think I’m doing some charity work here? » 

He got closer to Katya, leaning on the headboard beside him. After a little hesitation, he let his own hand touch Katya’s arm, his voice softer.

« You’re not the bad guy here, if that’s what you’re asking. I’m an adult, we both are grown men.»

Katya’s body seemed to relax at that but his face was still tensed.   
This was so new. Of course they had serious talks about life, feelings and all that in the past, but fully clothed and as friends, this new intimacy was making Trixie a little awkward but also strangely warm and craving for more. He tried to ignore his confusion by going back to known territories for them. 

« And you know you can use me » Katya smiled a little at that, getting visibly hard again but controlling himself. That was also new. 

« I’ll remember that, you owe me one after that last time » and just like that, Katya was Katya again. They fell in a comfortable silence, Trixie’s hands caressing Katya’s body, showing him he cared with his touches.

Very naturally, Trixie ended up kneeling between Katya’s open legs, whispering « please use me », his hot mouth finally meeting Katya’s dick and immediately working on it.  
His hand were on Katya’s hips, trying to hold him down, enjoying Katya’s moans everytime he tried to move his hips and couldn’t because of Trixie’s hands.   
Mouth and throat stretching to welcome more of Katya, Trixie felt tattooed arms push his head down, lips sliding on his dick, nose meeting Katya’s skin. And just like that, Katya found a way of controlling the situation, and Trixie was more than happy to surrender. His hands on Katya’s hips now useless, he let them travel to Katya’s nipples, teasing them, enjoying Katya’s strong chest flexing under his palms. His arms up to reach Katya’s nipples, knees digging into the mattress, his back leaning on Katya’s dick with strong hands keeping his head from moving on his own, the position was terribly uncomfortable and that made Trixie work his tongue harder, this was exactly what he wanted.   
Looking up at Katya he saw his mesmerizing blue eyes on him, he probably looked obscene, but Katya’s eyes never left him. He felt Katya’s hips starting to move faster, his hands pushing Trixie’s head to meet his thrusts. Trixie was drooling all over Katya’s dick when he saw him hitting his head in the headboard feeling him come deep in his throat. Trixie swallowed everything with difficulties, as Katya was still holding his head down, body still recovering from his orgasm. No matter how stupid that sounded, watching Katya loose control because of his mouth was the best moment of his life. Katya’s arms started to relax and he let Trixie move his mouth, slowly releasing his dick, giving a whole show in the process. Trixie moved up Katya’s body and kissed him hard, giving his own dick a few pumps before coming on Katya’s stomach with the most embarrassing groan. Trixie fell beside Katya, their legs touching and laughed, coughing a little, his throat needing a few minutes to recover.  
Katya looked relaxed, happy and almost affectionate with the way his head fell on Trixie’s shoulder, cuddling his side. Feeling brave in the afterglow of his own orgasm, Trixie asked the question that was really keeping him from sleeping for exactly 6 months.

« Why did you come to my place? » seeing Katya’s confused face, he added « the first time, when you asked if I trusted you ». 

Katya’s face closed completely, he looked angry, distant, Trixie instantly regretted asking. Katya didn’t answer, gathered his clothes, cigarettes and left before Trixie could even leave the bed. What?   
Panicked, Trixie took his phone, noticing it was already 6AM. Without thinking he texted Katya. « I’m sorry, I won’t ask again. » his hands were trembling when he added « I trust you ». Why did he have to ruin everything good in his life? 

Katya didn’t answer his text and he didn’t sleep. They had to film the last episode of the season of their YouTube show today and Trixie was feeling like shit, eyes red and skin almost grey. He checked his phone again, nothing, they were supposed to meet at the studio around 3PM and always texted or facetimed a few hours before to get in the mood before filming, it was their thing. He cringed at his last texts to Katya, and sent a new one. 

« You better not be late to film today bitch »

« I’m already on set, what is your late ass talking about? » attached to the text was a picture of Katya’s face, makeup half done.

Trixie felt like he was breathing again. He was tired, confused, disappointed that Katya wasn’t telling him what was bothering him, but everything would be fine if Katya was in his life again, he convinced himself.   
He realized he got unreasonably scared when Katya left his place without saying anything, it wasn’t just the fear of not having sex with him again (even though Trixie didn’t think he would be able to get hard again if it wasn’t with Katya), it was more than that. But he didn’t have time to be annoying and analyze his own feelings more, as Katya said, he was late. He dressed and took the two bags packed with wigs and outfits, mentally patting himself on the back for preparing this two days ago.  
He took time to put perfume on before leaving for the studio, excited at the idea of seeing Katya again, as if the other wasn’t coming deep into his ass just a few hours ago. He got in the Uber, tapping his finger against his thighs impatiently as images of the night before flashed before his eyes. Yes, everything will be fine if he didn't ask questions again, everything will be fine if he let Katya talk to him when he felt comfortable enough, yes, everything will be fine. Right?


	4. You have no idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this fictional world, COVID didn’t happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, work is killing me nowadays but I have a few days off, and have nothing better to do than write smutty fanfics about drag queens in a langage I don't really speak. This chapter is way longer that the others.   
> As always, enjoy.

The next week, Trixie was busy getting ready for tour, keeping his mind focused on something else than Katya’s ass, Katya’s tattoos that made him look so good in any outfit, Katya’s arms, Katya’s dick fucking him…. Sure, that was working well.   
He was constantly on the phone taking care of the last details, making sure the same hotels and flights as him were booked for the band, packing instruments, last minutes outfits, opening huge Amazon packages with dozens of cheap eyelashes and white eyeliner…drag queens shit you know.  
And just like that it was already two days before leaving, and Katya didn’t visit once. He did ask when he was going on tour the last time and they were cool again, texting each other memes and gross pictures every hour of the day, so why Katya didn’t come for 5 agonizingly long days?

The next day they were filming some additional footage for Netflix, it was always nice being on this huge set with pink everywhere. They were always welcomed like stars and Trixie’s ego needed that nowadays.   
He had to run up the stairs to the dressing room, his uber got stuck in traffic and he lost 15 precious minutes. Everyone reassured him saying they could wait a little longer for them to get ready today but that was definitely not his style to let people waiting.   
He noticed Katya’s absence as soon as he arrived in the dressing room, but saw his stuff scattered in every corners of the room : plastic jewelry, extravagant wigs and red dresses. 

« Katya? » He tentatively said, noticing he was definitely out of breath from all the running.

« Right here! I’m smoking » came that all too familiar husky voice, and it just does things to him, his body, already warm from the effort to get there on time, tensing up while shivers were rolling down his spine. A total lost cause.   
The voice was coming from the attached bathroom (a real luxury in this industry). When he entered the bathroom, he caught his reflexion in the mirror, he sleeveless shirt was out of place and he was sweating and breathing louder and faster than usual, and then he saw him.   
Katya was definitely checking him out, sitting by the open window, blowing smoke out like a teenager trying to not get caught smoking in school.   
He had no make up yet but the wig was already on his head, that made Trixie smile, typical Katya. 

« You’re not getting ready? » He stupidly said. 

« They’re late on set, I’m giving myself a break. » He then turned his head to blow some smoke outside. 

« And you weren’t here, I’m not getting in drag if we’re not filming » He started distractingly brushing his long plastic hair with his free hand « This won’t do » he said to himself before revealing his bald head, the wig abandoned near the window. 

« You’re right, we deserve a break » said Trixie before sitting beside Katya near the window. « and I had to fucking run there, can you believe? »

« You need to work on your cardio girl, why all the panting? »

« I know right »

Trixie was looking outside, the view was nice, the window opening at the back of the building, no cars, that was rare in LA, actively trying to ignore the warm body sitting beside him. 5 days, that’s all it took to make him go crazy, 5 fucking days, he couldn’t take it.

« I didn’t have any physical activity in the past 5 days, what a shame »

He saw Katya look at him from the corner of his eyes, eyebrow raised. Trixie still clearly struggling to not look at him. Failing. Obviously.  
They finally locked eyes and Katya was holding a stern expression. Oh shit, what did he do, he thought, panicking internally, before Katya finally cracked up and Trixie allowed himself a laugh. He wasn’t sure what it was they were finding funny, but Katya’s laughter was always a breath of fresh air, a ray of sunshine in the middle of a gloomy day, perfect.   
Katya left his cigarette and grabbed his arm « come on, let’s get ready »

They got ready together, firing gross jokes back and forth and dying of laughter every 5 minutes, it was their way of warming up for filming. Everyone getting ready with them was always confused as to why they weren’t keeping the jokes for the actual filming, or why they weren’t letting anyone else talk. It was just how they worked and they both stopped trying to explain anything about them a long time ago.   
They got on set just in time, the filming went great and Trixie decided to stay around a little longer joking with the staff. He was leaving for three months the day after tomorrow, and as much as he loved touring, he was going to miss filming here. He was in the middle of an animated discussion when his phone lighted up, a text from Katya. 

« Get your ass in the dressing room, now»

« Why? » he answered shortly.

« You know why »

Trixie’s whole body was awake, was this what he was thinking? He said bye loud enough for the whole room to hear and waved his hand over his shoulder as he was leaving the set. When he thought he was out of sight, a girl from the team appeared, running to catch him.

« Wait! Come back here in 15 minutes with Katya » and lowering her voice « We have a little goodbye party planned for the end of the season, the show did so well we just wanted to thank you both »

He answered « ok, I better hurry and get rid of that expired make up then! »

As if it was the theme of the day, he was running up the stairs to the dressing room, he entered the room, and closed it urgently behind him « we only have 10 minutes, they have a fucking party planned for us there »

Katya just walked calmly to him, and said, low enough for only the two of them to hear, even though they were the only people in this room « 10 minutes is all I need », and if that wasn’t enough to make his dick hard, he didn’t know what would. Trixie swallowed thickly, hard as a rock and, fuck, in full drag. There was staff and filming crew everywhere in the building, so it was probably the worst idea they had to date but Trixie just couldn’t say no to Katya when he was already breathing hard down his neck.   
Trixie grabbed Katya’s arm, guiding them to the bathroom at the back « this is all so fucked up », he whispers in Katya’s neck, backed against the wall.

« Shhh, be quiet » said Katya before kissing him deeply, his hands sliding down between their bodies, he didn’t realize what Katya had planned before he dropped to his knees in front of Trixie.

8 minutes. 

All the blood in his body rushed to his dick when he saw Katya on the floor, his finger pulling his tights down, he wasn’t heavily padded today, thanks god. Katya’s mouth found his dick before he had time to feel the cold air of the room, and his mouth felt like heaven, the back of his head hit the wall, his hands on Katya’s shoulders the only way to not fall on the ground, he was embarrassingly close to coming in Katya’s mouth. « hn…. Kat….. Katya…. »

Katya went deeper, relaxing his jaw and throat to welcome more of Trixie who couldn’t help but literally fuck Katya’s mouth, his hips moving on his own. The hair from the wig were sticking to his sweaty face, he wasn’t used to it but it wasn’t a bad thing, it added a new feeling to all this. The fact that they could get caught at any moment, that it was them, and that they were both in drag this time was making Trixie’s head spin. He suddenly felt very cold when Katya released him with a pop, replacing his mouth with his hand. He murmured in his open mouth « we don’t have all day princess, come for me » before kissing him deeply, swallowing his groans. He came in Katya’s hand, still kissing him, completely lost in the moment. He felt wet fingers inserting themselves in his mouth and he diligently sucked his own cum off Katya’s finger, looking at him. 

4 minutes. 

« Your turn » Trixie said lowly, looking at Katya still fully clothed. 

The other laughed, took Trixie’s head in both his hand before kissing him again « Not now » another kiss « I need to be inside you» another kiss « and we can’t do that here »

Trixie bit the inside of his cheek to not moan at Katya’s words and started grinding into his thighs. « Trixie » and it sounded like a warning.   
Katya slowly detached himself from Trixie and went back to the dressing room without a word. How was he able to do that? 

Trixie took 2 minutes to come down from the fucking cloud he was on, and when he went back to the dressing room, Katya was already half way through removing his make up and clothes. He took the jar of greasy make up remover they were sharing and started doing the same.   
In 5 minutes they were ready, skin a little irritated and traces of makeup still visible in the corner to their eyes. Trixie was opening the door when Katya hugged him from behind, whispering in his ear. «I’m coming to your place tonight, your ass better be ready because I didn’t hold back for nothing, do you hear me?».  
And he looked at Katya walking happily down the stairs to their little goodbye party, while he was still holding the door, confused and half hard, still feeling the warmth of Katya’s breath on his ear and neck. What the actual fuck was his life.

They went back home on their separate ways, confusing Trixie even more. He got home, took a longer shower than usual, changed the bed sheets and wondered if he should get dressed of not. Katya said he was coming tonight, but when? It was worse than when he didn’t announce it. 

It was close to midnight when Katya knocked on the door, and saying Trixie was mad was an understatement. He opened the door ready to show how angry he was that Katya let him wait for hours after teasing him like that in the Netflix dressing room, when he saw his face, he just wanted to give him everything he had and more, his face getting red. 

« What do we have here Tracy? You couldn’t wait for me? »

Trixie was shirtless and sweating, he was in the middle of jerking off, sure that Katya wasn’t showing up tonight, when he heard someone was at the door. 

« Oh shut up now »

Trixie pushed Katya so his back hit the door, he looked startled and stumbled a little, gasping and cursing. Trixie sandwiched him between his own body and the door, his hands finding Katya’s dick in his shorts, Katya finding his ass, squeezing and pulling so their hips were closer. Their mouths finally crashed on each other and Trixie took advantage of him being slightly taller to angle Katya’s head up. He wanted to remain like this forever but Katya’s needy hands were also reminding him he wanted to be fucked hard against this same door. He released Katya’s mouth, finally looking at him, his eyes were wild, but he was definitely trying to hold back. Trixie felt a sudden urge of affection flooding inside his chest, he caressed the side of Katya’s head with one hand, the other still holding his dick firmly. He kissed him once more, and said, their lips still touching. 

« Listen to me, I’ll be gone for three months soon, I want you to bury yourself deep inside me, I want you to make me scream until I can’t take it, I want my head hitting the fucking head of the bed while you’re pounding into me, do you understand Katya? I want you to destroy me »

He licked Katya’s lips before leaving to his room, taking off the little bit of clothes he had on to open the door. Saying this out loud to anyone else would be too embarrassing, but not with Katya.

Before he could get to the bed, Katya’s warm chest was on his back, hugging him from behind. He suddenly felt himself being pushed on the bed « on your hands and knees » was all Katya said, urgently. Trixie quickly did as he was told and felt two of Katya’s wet fingers slipping into his ass way too easily.   
He was ready for Katya to make fun of him but all he heard was a strangled moan while a third finger was carefully moving inside him. « Oh my god Trix», he felt Katya’s hard dick against his thighs when he moved to kiss Trixie’s back, leaving a long line of wet kisses along his spine. It was turning Katya on that he prepped just for him, I’m turning Katya on, he thought, I’m doing that, just me.  
He swallowed and took a deep breath before saying « what the fuck do you think I was doing waiting for you for so long ». 

He felt Katya bitting his shoulder while fingering him deeper and his eyes rolled all the way back, his hands holding the sheets tightly. That was already a lot.   
He felt Katya’s warm skin leave his back for a few seconds, and a copious amount of lube raining on his ass. Katya’s movements were more urgent and frantic than usual, he was just using half the bottle of lube, smearing it everywhere in the perimeter. He then grabbed Trixie shoulder and entered him so slow he could cry. Trixie started moving his hand on his dick at the same pace to feel every inches even more intensely. The hands on his shoulders slowly moved, Katya’s arms completely hugging him, same hands now on his chest, probably feeling his heartbeat going crazy, as every part of Katya’s body was now touching his back, he felt full and safe, just like he liked it.   
Katya was not moving, and Trixie’s hand left his dick to grab one of Katya’s hand on his own chest, their fingers intertwined instinctively. Katya let ou a long breath before kissing his temple and moving slowly, keeping the same position, hugging Trixie tightly from behind, Trixie holding himself on one hand, the other holding Katya’s hands. It was overwhelming, everything was too much and not enough at the same time, Katya’s thrust swere getting deeper and he didn’t know if the moans he was hearing were coming from him or Katya. 

Katya kept going, definitively not as fast as usual, but obviously trying to make it last longer, sometimes almost stopping, kissing the back of Trixie’s neck, his shoulders, his neck, without breaking the hug. Trixie wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life like this but he needed more, his body was screaming for release and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold himself on one hand. He detached his hand from Katya’s with much difficulty, his muscles and heart crying and decided to hold himself with both hands on the headboard, Katya still moving at the same rhythm, and Trixie started thrusting back, making Katya’s thrusts ten times more intense for him, and with the hands tightening around his torso he knew it was the same for Katya.   
They moved like that for some time, both enjoying how deep Katya’s dick was going into him, his eyes were closed when he heard Katya’s voice, impossibly husky. « Wait »

And he did, he stopped meeting Katya’s hips back, his own hands back on the bed, he stopped moving, Katya’s dick still buried deep inside him. Katya’s arms left his chest, and he felt a hand gently guiding his head to the side, kissing him deeply. Then, with a sudden roll of his hips, Katya thrusted all the way back, hard, and Trixie’s arms stopped supporting him. He fell on the bed, heard Katya’s moan as he was pushing his head hard on the mattress, the new angle giving him a whole world of new sensations to explore. He was gasping for air, his eyes were watering and his jaw was trembling, nothing in the world could be better than this. Angling his head so he could watch Katya, he saw him watching himself move in and out of him. Trixie was already so close, without even having touched himself, his dick moving between his legs with the force of Katya’s thrusts. 

He saw Katya opening his mouth, saying nonsense just catching « you feel so fucking good » in between random « fuck » or « oh my god ». He was groaning now, a new sound escaping his mouth with each thrusts, the sound of skin against skin adding to the symphony.  
Katya was now brutally pounding his insides, his face between his shoulder and neck, clawing at him where he could, his shoulders, head, hips, digging his nails deep, leaving marks that wouldn’t leave before a week of two. 

« Fuck, fuck, fuck » Trixie hissed, after a particularly sharp thrust, « fuck I’m gonna come », he grabbed his dick giving it a few uninspired pumps. He knew Katya heard him, he kept up the pace, one of his hand joining Trixie’s on his dick, but Trixie couldn’t help saying « I’m coming, I’m coming….. fuck…. Don’t…. Don’t stop « and he started moving his ass to meet Katya’s hips as much as the awkward position was letting him. He was shaking now and Katya kept moving and pumping his dick, when the orgasm hit him it was like his whole body was shutting down, he stopped breathing, he only saw pure white in front of him even though his eyes were closed, a long moan escaped him as Katya couldn’t hold back anymore, and with one final long thrust was letting loose inside him with a deep groan.  
Katya’s body crashed on Trixie’s back and they stayed like that a few minutes, both a heaving mess, left to catch their breath, with Katya occasional kisses on his shoulders. When Katya rolled off his back, he still couldn’t move, lying on his stomach, but suddenly he felt incredibly cold and empty and instinctively reached for Katya’s hot body, awkwardly putting his arm across the other’s stomach and chest. Katya was quick to grab his hand. 

When he felt like he could talk again he said « oh my god, Katya, tell me it was as good for you as it was for me because… »  
And before he could say more, he heard Katya.

« You have no idea» 

And they both started to laugh, Katya with that wheezy breathy old man laugh and Trixie half screaming. 

When the laughs naturally died, they where both smiling, Katya dreamily kissing their linked hands. Why did this feel so right? Why would he want anything else than that in his life? Why was this so easy?  
They moved a little, getting more comfortable, they were both on their sides, hugging, enjoying each other’s warm bodies and skin, looking for contact. Katya was usually already smoking by now so Trixie was taking every extra second he could get, especially when a wild affectionate Katya was here in his bed. Trixie didn’t want to question things anymore, what they had was enough for him. He was ready to surrender, wait, who was he kidding, he already surrendered a long time ago.

« Trix? »

Trixie didn’t answer and just caught his eyes, signaling he was listening. 

« Don’t sleep with anyone else on tour »

It wasn’t said as a question but Trixie knew it was one, he answered without even thinking about it. 

« Okay »

He saw Katya’s bright smile, he didn’t know if it was because of his answer or because he didn’t ask any other questions but this smile made his heart melt in his chest right away and he felt the urge to kiss Katya immediately. He sat on the bed, leaning above Katya, took his perfect head between his hands and kissed him, trying to show everything he couldn’t tell with this kiss. They kissed for what felt like hours, Trixie still surprised Katya didn’t feel the need to smoke or take a shower as he usually did. The warm skin, the slow kiss, and the comfortable bed was making him dizzy, he was absentmindedly tracing Katya’s tattoos, the sound of his fingers traveling on the skin feeling like a lullaby. Katya nudged him gently « Tracy? » he said, amused.  
Trixie answered with a long yawn, earning a quiet laugh from Katya. « I’m not done with you ». Trixie knew he was tired when that didn’t totally wake him up, he needed to rest. 

« Just…. Just go smoke, take a shower et wake me up sucking my dick in an hour or something » 

He felt Katya moving, covering his body with the bed sheets before kissing the back of his neck. As soon as he left, Trixie was already sleeping. 

He woke up feeling thirsty and his whole body aching. He stretched like a cat before looking around for Katya when he entered the room, looking very much awake, and wearing one of Trixie’s pink towel around his hips. 

« How long did I sleep? »

Katya checked his phone before answering « 2 hours. »

« What happened to waking me up creatively? »

Katya just said, smiling« I was a little behind on the schedule boss » He was in a good mood, Trixie though, better not scare the wild animal with stupid questions this time. His stomach was turning, he wanted Katya to stay here forever and he was about to spill his heart every second with how sweet Katya was right now. He turned in the sheets, trying to wake his tired body. A few minutes later Katya was back in bed and they were hugging each other again, Katya’s hands gently tracing random shapes on his back. He wanted to kiss him again. But before he could act on it, Katya’s hands were now on his chest « You’ve been working out? ». Trixie blushed « A little ». 

Katya started with wet kisses on his chest, slowly going down to his abs that were starting to show after years of having a soft stomach. Trixie let his hand stay at the back of Katya’s head, encouraging him to continue his exploration. « You are so hot Trix », he didn’t answer, only vaguely believing what Katya was saying. Katya looked at him from his stomach « you have no idea right? You have no idea how hot you are and what you do to me? » His eyes widened, looking at Katya, licking from his belly button all the way up to his neck. He was moving like a snake, so sexy, Trixie thought. How a person like Katya could be into him physically? He was so lucky he could get even 1% of his attention. After a few more kisses on his chest Katya was hugging him again, now touching his ass and kissing his jaw.  
Trixie did the same and soon they were both panting in each other’s mouth, getting hard again. 

There was no stopping him as the tip of his nose was running along Katya’s jaw on the way to his ear, « Katya » he said, breathy voice, almost moaning, and in one quick move, Trixie was on top of him, Katya’s hand finding his ass again. Trixie captured the little sighs of content Katya let escape and took the opportunity to run his tongue along his bottom lip, taking it between his teeth and giving it a slow suck. Katya hands left his ass and wrapped themselves at the back of his neck to pull him closer, eliminating all concept of space between them. Katya groaned as Trixie started grinding on top of him, their dicks moving against each other, making all the blood rush downstairs. He blindly searched around the bed with his hand and found the abandoned bottle of lube in the bedsheets, pushing it in Katya’s hands without stopping the kiss. Katya quickly coated his fingers and soon one of them was finding its way inside Trixie. He was kissing Katya more deeply, showing that’s what he wanted. They were barely moving, it was just Trixie gently rocking on top of Katya, their dicks rubbing together and Katya fingering him, opening him up slowly, kissing and looking at him like he was gifting him the world. Trixie felt hot, invincible.   
Another finger was added and Trixie was starting to get impatient, more, always more.   
He gently grabbed Katya’s wrist, letting his fingers slip out of him with a deep sigh, he then detached himself from him and coated Katya’s dick with lube. « Trix are you sure it’s…. », he cut him off « Yes, I need this, now shut up and enjoy ».   
He let himself sink on Katya’s dick, his head falling back, his back arching in all the wrong directions. He wasn’t totally ready but the burn he was feeling right now felt delicious. After a little while savoring the sensation of Katya’s dick stretching him out so good, he opened his eyes and was met by Katya’s mesmerized gaze on him. He never felt more sexy, and manly, ironically, than now. He slapped Katya’s hand that was trying to grab his dick and did it himself, starting do experimentally grind his ass at the same time he was moving his hand. He felt Katya’s hand on his knees, going up his thighs and kept moving.   
One hand still on his dick, he stretched his other arm to grab the headboard and push back harder on Katya’s dick, earning a moan from Katya who was buried incredibly deep in his ass without any control on the situation in this position. Trixie found his own rhythm, very slow, he wanted to feel every inches of Katya’s dick every time he was using the headboard to go up and slide down again, trying to feel him deeper and deeper every-time.

He left the headboard and tried to move a little faster, feeling more comfortable and encouraged by Katya’s intense gaze on him, he leaned back, his hands finding Katya’s legs behind him for support and he moved up and down, now properly riding this dick like his life was on the line. His head fell back, his leg’s muscles starting to burn, but he kept going, it felt too good. Katya was breathing hard and he said « Trix, let me touch you, I’m close » he just moved his head as a yes.   
Between half closed eyes he saw Katya spitting in his hand and touching Trixie’s dick, pumping fast. He was getting close too, but his legs were hurting too much. He tried finding another position but fell on top of Katya, he wanted to get back up but Katya whispered « I got you », kissing him deeply. He felt Katya moving fast inside him, thrusting up, keeping him in place with strong hands on his sides. They were both open mouth screaming by now, « I want to kiss you when I come Trix, let me … », Trixie didn’t let him finish and crashed their lips together and just like that, Katya was coming, body tensing and tongue searching everywhere in his mouth.   
With Katya’s dick out of his ass, he was feeling his cum slowly dripping from there on the mattress, and that made him moan shamelessly.   
Katya seemed to realize he was still hard, and said « I can’t move but my mouth is working, come up here » Trixie eagerly climbed up Katya’s body and let his hard dick slide into Katya’s open mouth, eyes widening at the sight of his length disappearing between his lips. Katya was already sucking him with purpose, deep throating as if he needed it to live, this made Trixie’s knees buckle. His moans and groans were mixing with Katya’s obscene slurps and hums and somewhere Trixie heard Katya gag. It was a bit sloppy and lacked his usual finesse but it didn’t matter because Trixie was so far gone he was coming hard in Katya’s mouth a few seconds later. He touched Katya’s cheek, faintly feeling the weight of his dick there as he let go of everything. Still catching his breath he quickly let go of Katya’s mouth to kiss him again, his own taste mixing with their salivas on his tongue. And everything was right. 

They fell asleep holding each other in a mess of limbs. When Trixie woke up again, Katya was looking at his phone, an anxious expression on his face. Trixie tried to get his attention 

« Kat? » he gently touched his arm. No reaction. He tried again. 

« Kat? Katya? » the more he looked at him, the more Katya looked bad. What was that expression? Angry? Scared? 

« Brian? » He said again, now completely worried. 

Katya seemed to notice him and jumped a little in bed « you’re awake »

It wasn’t a question, Katya was just saying something to gain back his composure. « Yeah » Trixie simply said. 

It took Katya another 20 minutes for his worried expression to leave his face, Trixie chose to let him calm down and quickly dressed with gym short and an old shirt to eat something, he was starving. He was eating a bowl of cereal when Katya appeared in the kitchen, looking like himself again, fully dressed. Trixie’s chest felt cold and empty knowing Katya was leaving.  
Not knowing what to say, Trixie and his stupid brain let out before even thinking « I’m leaving tomorrow »

« I know » Katya answered. Not showing much emotions but he knew Katya like the back of his hand and he knew he wanted to say something. He filled two mugs with the coffee he prepared for Katya, not much of a coffee drinker himself but it would give him something to do. Katya drank from the mug, silently thanking him with a little nod. Trixie sat in front of him, took a sip and grimaced, how could he drink that. He put the mug down, not planning on touching that bitter drink from hell again, and he saw that made Katya relax and smile a little. 

« Trix I… »

Trixie didn’t say anything, just letting him speak at his own pace. Katya wasn’t looking at him anymore, but nervously holding the mug and watching the coffee moving inside. 

« Did you mean it when you said you trusted me? »

« I did, I trust you Katya »

Katya was moving his head, like he was battling with himself on what to say or not, Trixie wished he could take all of his worries away. 

« Whatever you hear or see about me when you’re on tour, whatever I say, just…. don’t believe it ok? »

« Okay » Trixie simply answered, I’ll do whatever you ask me, he wanted to scream.

Still not looking at him, Katya left, just like that. Trixie knew not to go after him, that was the most Katya could say right now and he wouldn’t push him further. But god, he wanted to know what that was about. He emptied the coffee that was left in his mug in the sink, feeling like his whole life was spilling everywhere around him with it.


End file.
